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Honesty in a relationship
Honesty is one of the most important things we can bring to a relationship, yet more often than not it ends in tears. How do you be honest with someone you love without destroying the relationship?
Sometimes, it’s going to hurt. There are times that - no way around it - being honest with your partner is going to make them sad or make them angry. However, if you’re finding this has become the norm in your relationship, it might be time to reassess your approach! You should be able to be honest with one another without triggering a meltdown.
It’s ok to be gentle! If your partner’s a little over sensitive, try to find a way of communicating that’s honest and direct but isn’t needlessly aggressive. Yes, it can be frustrating tiptoeing around, but their sensitivity probably has an upside too!
The closer you are, the easier - and harder - it gets. When you’ve been with someone a long time your relationship is (hopefully!) a lot less fragile than when you started going out. This means you can be confident being open and honest about tricky issues. It also means you know what buttons to push to hurt them or make them angry.
Tip: holding back when the heat is on and respecting someone’s vulnerability (i.e. steering clear of their triggers), is crucial to a healthy relationship.
Consider yourself. Honesty can hurt. Before you tear into someone, ask yourself:
- Would I feel unfairly attacked if I were them?
- (If so) How would I like to be approached if I was in their shoes?
Find a way of expressing yourself to your partner in a way that’s constructive, but not confrontational. Your partner will be less likely to feel attacked and more open to what you have to say.
Tip: if you’re having a hard time getting through to someone, make a time to talk specifically about the issue at hand.
What if they still don’t get it?! If your partner consistently ignores your (rational) attempts to talk about an issue you think is important, take a different tack. Tell them you don’t want to hurt them, but if they don’t start taking you seriously on this, your relationship could end.
If that doesn’t make ‘em sit up and listen, you are free to act like a crazy person.
Article by Sarah Illingworth. Who is Sarah? Find out here and meet the rest of the 24/7 Girl team too. And don’t forget to check out Sarah’s blog here!
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Honesty is keen in a relationship. Without honesty your relationship will always have issues. If he is not honest from the start… THE ALARMS are on.. Posted by CourtneyHannah "on" 01/16 "at"11:46 AM |
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you have to be able to talk to each otherwise the relatonship wont work. and you have to be honest it hurts aloot more when you realise that your’ve been lied to Posted by Van "on" 07/28 "at"10:45 AM |
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the one thing i’ve learnt, is be honest and say whats on your mind, otherwise it’s easy for us girls to start coming up with ideas and ‘what ifs?’ in our heads. Say what you think - if he doesn’t appriciate you or your opinions/ideas/thoughts then hes not worth it girls! Posted by Zoe Maree "on" 05/20 "at"11:45 PM |
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My bf and I got back together 6 months ago. We made boundaries so that we wldnt have problems this time. One was to be honest about everything. He obviously didnt understand this concept,and he lied to me when I asked him if his ex had contacted him when she got back in town. He is now my exbf again, and I wont go back to him, if he couldnt be honest about one text, what else is he hiding? Sad but he knew the rules. Posted by lililambchops "on" 03/26 "at"11:55 AM |
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Relationships can be really hard, but honesty (although its cheesy) is the best policy! you can never go wrong with open conversations. but remember girls out there not to get clingy, you can care. just in moderations. dont confuse talking and honesty with obssesiveness. Posted by Cate_x "on" 02/16 "at"12:49 PM |
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It’s always better to be honest in a relationship. The truth hurts but basing your relationship on a lie will always come back and hurt you in the end. Everyone always finds out the truth in the end so it is better to tell your partner yourself because it would be worse if they heard it from somebody else. Posted by BekaAshley "on" 02/11 "at"03:50 PM |
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5 years! wow good on you too! is it different now that your not at school (assuming you have finished):) Posted by Xxc0rtxX "on" 08/13 "at"09:36 PM |
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The closer you are, the easier - and harder - it gets. That statement is so true, I have been with my boyfriend Scott since I was 13, we officially started going on October 23 2005, this will be my fifth year with him in October. I love him to bits and never like spending time apart even though we do, we know its healthier for us to spend time apart rather then spend time together all the time. Posted by POWERBALLIN25 "on" 08/12 "at"10:41 PM |
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I can be oversensitive too. But I’m trying to get over it :D Posted by Bee "on" 08/11 "at"08:01 PM |
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Truth hurts, thats what I have always been told and what I live by. so if you cant handle the truth then your pretty screwed really, lol Posted by tkennard "on" 08/09 "at"02:36 PM |
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i defiantly can be a little over sensitive Posted by Xxc0rtxX "on" 08/08 "at"08:40 PM |
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