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What to do when he’s taken
There’s nothing worse than falling head over heels for someone, only to find out they’re already taken. Do you suffer in secret, hoping one day you’ll have a chance to be with him? Or do you ignore how you feel, hoping it’ll turn out to be nothing more than a crush? Or… do you swoop on in and try to make him yours?
Most people would agree it’s totally uncool to try and swipe another girl’s guy, no matter how you feel about him. The reality can be a lot harder though! Consider these thoughts if you’re finding it hard to hold back.
1. Think how it would feel if someone flirted with YOUR man! Imagine, just imagine, if another girl tried to steal your boy away from YOU. Not that cool right?
We all know girls who have been ripped apart when their boyfriends cheated on them. It’s never worth it!
2. Ask yourself: do I really want to be with a guy who could be distracted from the relationship he’s in by someone else?
How can you feel secure in a relationship with someone you know would cheat on someone they ‘love’? Of course, maybe you hadn’t even considered trying to steal him away - maybe you’re confused, sad and wishing you could stop feeling how you do. What then?
I guess the first thing is to acknowledge how you feel. Trying to ignore your feelings can actually have the opposite effect! Keeping something like this to yourself can be pretty overwhelming, so talk to someone you trust about it.
Next step is to acknowledge and accept the guy’s off limits. You don’t know what the future will bring, but at this point it’s important to move on - or you’ll go crazy wishing and waiting for someone who will possibly never be yours.
What do you think? Are guys off limits if they’re already taken? Tell us what you think in the comments section below.
Article by Sarah Illingworth. Who is Sarah? Find out here and meet the rest of the 24/7 Girl team too. And don’t forget to check out Sarah’s blog here!
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if he’s off limits dont touch him your a fool if you even try… only thing thats going to happen is heart ache for the rest of your life - if you try and he rejects you, you will get hurt…. if you try and he accepts you - still heart ache your gonna be known as the cow that took someone elses left overs so either way you will look like an idiot so I say hands off .... cause whats going to happen is someone is going to do it back to you in the end and steal him off you  Posted by Melinkah "on" 05/20 "at"01:17 PM |
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yeah imagine how you would feel if someone tried to steal your bf off you. x Posted by Wonderful.♥ "on" 05/14 "at"06:07 PM |
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well if a guys taken stay away imagine if someone tried to steal boy friend Posted by iceream "on" 04/26 "at"01:13 PM |
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hmmm.if the dudes off limits then stay away , if you were his qf and another chic tried to take him away from you , how would that make YOU feel ? exactly the same as she would riqht ? yeah i know it can be really hard fallinq over heels over someone whos already taken BUT thats the way it is. move on, after all there are LOTS of other quys out there. and anyway , maybe when hes available then you CAN , && if he never will be for whateevr reasons then i quess it wasnt meant to be riqht ? dont forqet, there are heaps of fishes in the sea (: Posted by JenniferF "on" 03/26 "at"11:52 PM |
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If he’s taken, automatically back off out of respect for his decision and the girl’s feelings. If he did not choose you because he did not really know you, then you can’t blame him for asking someone he knows and feels safe and comfortable around to go out with him. Even if he does know you, it doesn’t mean that he hates you, but perhaps he did not feel you were compatible, or perhaps he just appreciates you as a friend. It can be really hard not to feel bitter, but trying to seduce him and win him over while he is with someone else is hardly behaviour that, objectively, is attractive to anyone. Think about how you would feel if you were in her position and another mutual friend was trying to steal him away? If it’s not meant to be with the other girl, it will end eventually. And who knows, perhaps if he really has made a mistake, he will come to realize this in time. If he made a mistake and never realized it, he doesn’t deserve you in the first place. Often, you can build up this mental image of how amazing this guy is, but perhaps in reality he may not live up to that expectation. And you never know if you might meet someone even more wonderful and exciting in the meantime—perhaps fate let this happen for a reason.  Posted by Remy "on" 03/02 "at"12:17 PM |
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I’m in this position, but I’m staying away and keeping my hands off, but (this is gonna sound sooo weird) I think he might be my soulmate, because I know when something has gone wrong that involves him!!!!! Posted by TheAssassin'sDaughter "on" 03/02 "at"08:36 AM |
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Work for him show off show him that your better for him than she is !!! go for it girl! Posted by Zebraellz "on" 02/13 "at"02:47 PM |
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It’s tough. Especially when you click and you know there’s an attraction from both of you. But no matter what, if a guy has a girlfriend - you can’t go there. Don’t listen to the people that say “he’s not taken until there’s a ring!” - it’s rubbish. It is completely uncool to chase a guy who is in another relationship. Trying to seduce him is not the way to go - you’re going to end up as the bad guy and if you do eventually date him, you won’t be able to trust him. But… holding out hope that she’ll leave the country (see ya!) or they’ll amicably break up is ok… Just don’t hold your breath waiting for it to happen. As hard as it is, the best thing to do is move on. It may be that you need to get some space from him, or if you can’t, try focussing on some of the things you like about him “just as a friend” that maybe you would lose if you were together. If you find it tough meeting good guys as it is, then moving on will be even harder but you need to make it your focus. And if the guy of your dreams and his girlfriend do break up? Then you need to hold off going out with him too soon. After all, you don’t want to be the rebound girl. Posted by kendallforbes "on" 02/12 "at"05:15 PM |
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I think he’s off limits if he’s taken. But it doesn’t mean you have to ignore your feelings, you can always secretely observe him from the background  as my mate told me at school “It’s not perving, it’s observing”. Just because he’s taken doesn’t mean that you have to give up dreaming. I guess dreaming is what keeps us going in our lives.Posted by Peter_Pan "on" 02/11 "at"10:51 PM |
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Definitely! There’s nothing more disrespectful or hurtful than trying to steal someone’s man. It doesn’t matter what the guy is like, there’s probably ten more of him out there…And even if there isn’t, if you are meant to be together the relationship will end naturally and he’ll be yours!
I totally agree with the article. If he is willing to betray his current girlfriend, what’s there to say he won’t do it to you! Posted by Bayley "on" 02/09 "at"07:27 PM |
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lol of course he is hands off unless you ahve known eachother for years and know he feels the same and its a convenience relationship. At that point its not fair for anyone. But this is like the onlyyy reason. ANything else and no!!. How can you trust him if he leaves her for you! He could easily do it to you the next year or even worse miss her and cheat on you with her! Any self respecting guy would end it with her in his own time if you decided to hae the guts to be up front with him and make it clear you will never touch him while he is with her (a big one, guys only want a girl they can respect and showing you have no respect for his current gf only makes you look bad) or else just wait and pick a good time to tell him then go on your own way. I think us females need to get stuff out in the open a.s.a.p otherwise we put ourselves in positions such as missing mr perfect who comes past right under our noses just because we were busy drooling over mr cool who ends up being a moron. :p Posted by x0x_Gen_x0x "on" 01/24 "at"02:25 AM |
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It’s a crappy position to be in but sadly if he’s with someone else you’ll end up feeling more like crap around him as just friends. Better off to put him in the back of your mind and go on a couple of dates with other guys - if it’s meant to be, he’ll realise what he’s missing! lol Posted by Sarnabanana "on" 01/10 "at"08:01 AM |
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he is off limits if he is taken, no matter my feelings for him i would never do that to someone, it just feel so horrible….. Posted by becky:Px "on" 10/30 "at"08:34 PM |
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Okay, but what the guy come out of the relation ship because it dosent workout, can you go for him then? Posted by Chaska "on" 09/20 "at"12:36 AM |
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He’s so off-limits if he’s taken. No matter what, I say it’s hands off. Imagine how you’d feel if someone tried it on with your guy? Posted by Wild1 "on" 09/09 "at"09:41 AM |
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