Hi . That could work for you actually.  Saying that to him may give you your answer.  I don’t think it’s going to be the answer you want though.  I don’t want to sound like a neggy nelly but I don’t think he’s going to leave his girlfriend.  He likes having you there but he’s probably not willing to man up to the responsibility of being your boyfriend, that would mean no sex and having to respect you and care for you - which don’t sound like things he’s actually ready for.  Still too, you’re 13, you have so much time to meet someone kind, thoughtful and fun who will treat you like a lady.  When I was 13 I wanted a boyfriend too but in reality I just wasn’t ready for any of that until I was older.  I will never regret waiting until I was 16 to date someone, I was ready then to handle the emotions.  Honey, he will hurt you if you persist, I’m sure of it, I’ve seen it before.  If he really cared for you in more than a sexual way he would have shown that, but anyone who would text a 13 year old ‘wanna blow me’, has problems you don’t want to be involved with.  Imagine tomorrow you’re his girlfriend - any time he looks at another girl, as you know he does, you’ll get upset and not know whether to trust him which will lead to the ‘can I trust you conversation’ which he’ll get annoyed with, any time you’re apart you’ll wonder who he’s with and what he’s doing and if you ask him too often he’ll feel smothered which will make him more distant to you.  A real trusting relationship doesn’t have that.  Me and my man feel that the universe made us for each other and it just took a while for us to find each other.  We trust each other implicitly, he’s my best friend and confidant.  I never doubt him.  This is love.  There are so many people you will meet in your life, some will confuse and confound you but others will bring you love, laughter and a plethora of adventures.  You will wonder at some point in the future how you could have been so blinded by this guy.  I know what I’m writing is not what you want to hear but I can only go on what I know.  Do you talk to your friends about this?  What do they say?  We all have crushes at some point, what have your mates said to help you get over him?  I wish you the best and hope you get over him soon.  Do keep posting too, I’ll help if I can.

I have a friend named Jade and she tells me that if i keep letting him use me the way he does, then he’ll just take advantage of me until he gets what he wants and thats sex. I know what you mean, yeah i honestly dont wanna believe that he is a monster but i have no choice. I mean he acts nicely to me and isnt a dick head like most guys are but idk. And you are totally right i am a little too young for this but i feel as though maybe things between me and him will work out someway or another but idk? I guess i’ll talk to him and sort this whole thing out so please stay by my side and help me get through all of this pain i am going through thanks boo and please answer me back ASAP!

Good, I’m glad you’ve got a friend there to support you too.  She’s right, some guys will show a girl they like them in little ways but it’s a means to an end, they do it so they can break down your defences and get what they want.  There’s so many nice guys out there, why settle for one whose actions have proven him to be untrustworthy.  You don’t have to believe he’s a monster but you do need to put his actions into perspective.  Does his conversation always lead to sexual topics?  Does he say things that are inappropriate or make you feel uncomfortable?  Does he show an interest in your life, hobbies, school, friends, family?  And what qualities do you admire about him?  If it’s what you want you should straight up tell him unless he wants to have a serious relationship with you he should leave you alone.  It’s hard to get over someone if they won’t leave you alone.  You even said it yourself in your last post, “he ‘acts nicely’ to me”.  The word ‘acts’ conveys a lot.  You didn’t say he is real nice to me, you said he ‘acts’ nice which to me implies you know he’s putting it on in a way.  For all the things in the world there are to be upset and confused by the thing that gets me the most is how humans, after millenia of existing, still can’t be bloody honest with each other.  If he said to you “All I want is sex” you would’ve said “Buggie off” and your big little heart never would’ve had to endure this.  You will figure this out and the lessons you learn will stay with you.  Not all guys are like this one so don’t let the way he has treated you put you off getting to know other guys and maybe stick to boys a year or so younger, that way your more likely to have things in common and be on the same page.  I look forward to hearing what happened if you chat to him. Have a great day, there’s this old saying I’ve forgotten the latin for but it’s ‘Don’t let the b@$t@rd$ grind you down’.  It helps me keep strong in adversity sometimes.  Not that I condone swearies that often but said tongue in cheek I think it’s okay.  Good luck, be strong. 

The things i admire about him the most is his smile, his personality, and his swag. When we do talk it does sometimes get a little sexual but besides that we ask eachother how our day was and just what we did. Sometimes i can be a little agressive myself. Like i’ll say that oh so what’s up sexy or like other cute comments and he’ll take it to the EXTREME SEXTING!!! I mean i think its cute sometimes but not all the time. If you understand what i mean? And i surely will tell you everything that happens when i talk to him.

WTH is swag and how can it be admired?  Why do you let talk get sexual if it’s something you’re not ready for?  Cute and 13 go together, sexy and 13 don’t in my opinion.  You can see how your behaviour could be misconstrued by this guy if you’re saying things you’re not prepared to back up with actions.  As much as he may have led your heart on you may be leading him on physically, tell me if I’m wrong.  What you think of as harmless flirtation may be seen as more by him.  You learn fine lines and limits with age, well most do anyway.  The worst thing you can do is rush in, as they say only fools do that.  Chalk it up to experience. 

Hmm… I never really thought about it? And swag means like his style aka what he wears. I still didnt text him, im a little too shy to. I dont really know what he’ll say so im going to take it one day/step at a time. When i do have the balls to come out with the topic to him i’ll let you know. Have a nice day though bye <3

Cool, well remember you’re not alone

Step by step one goes far -  Dutch proverb

Thank you for saying that. I know im not alone but sometimes i feel that way. Like im honestly terrified of what he would say. And i haven’t talked to the kid in 2 weeks so when i suddenly just text him he’ll be surprised. Maybe you could give me suggestions of what to say to him? If you can just hmu ASAP! <3

We all feel alone sometimes.  Even when we’re surrounded by people you can still feel like no-one ‘gets you’.  If you haven’t talked to him in two weeks you could take it as a sign of his lack of honourable intent (says the spy-kid in me ).  You could say to yourself well that’s two weeks down lets see how long it is before I’m not concerned about him at all.  The only thing I can think of for you to say to him is “why have you been stringing me along” but I think we both already know the answer to that.  I can’t tell you any other things to say because I don’t like this guy, he doesn’t deserve you in my opinion.  I’ve been trying to support you through this but I still don’t think it’s in your best interests to see him.  So many women would be like “I’ve seen his type, they’re no good” but you really have to figure it out yourself, only you can decide whether it’s worth pursuing after you weigh everything up and sometimes we just have to learn from our mistakes too.  Mine and others advice will only carry so far, at some point you have to go with your instincts, your words, your feelings.  Girl, he’s not the only fish in the sea, he sounds more like a slippery eel anyway but you’ve got your whole life ahead of you to ‘go fishing’ so to speak, just keep that in mind.  Focus on your education, family and friends, reach for your potential, everything else will fall into place in good time.  Huggies, 

So i texted him lastnight. He didnt seem to be so happy. He said to me that he doesn’t wanna talk to me anymore :( And that he doesn’t feel that we should even be friends. So once again i was hurt by him. But then when i replied saying ok. He then said oh well you know when you see me your going to say hi. Then i was like why say you dont wanna talk to me anymore than. Like why even bring up the topic. And he said because he respects his girl, but if he respected his girlfriend so much then he would have never of cheated in the first place. But i dont care i mean i still have feelings for him but if he’s going to act like a douchebag then #### him. :/ and excuse me for my foul language but it kind of needed to be put out there LOL

Hey, at least you know now and can work on moving on for good.  You realise when you text him he was maybe sitting right by his girl, of course he’s going to be more of a meanie, don’t take it to heart.  I guarantee he still thinks he’s got you wrapped around his little finger even though he sent you packing so you really do need to work on totally ignoring him, don’t say hello, why would you want to anyway?  He doesn’t respect his girl, you’re right, he just likes having her around and may have realised how close he came to losing her.  You’ll find those feelings evaporate pretty quickly now I reckon.  Welcome to pain in the heart alley, keep traveling, turn left, turn right, stop for an ice cream, swing round the roundabout and in no time at all you’ll find yourself on awesome street again.  Don’t let him bring you down any more.  You’re better than that.  I hope you have a fantabulous day, enjoy some sunshine, get out for a walk with a mate or do something fun.    cya

You know what you’re absolutely right i shouldnt even want to talk to him after what he’s put me through. And for the record his girlfriend should feel very stupid because i think she maybe knew something was going on. Maybe not what she expected but when she saw the messages he had sent me she should have known right then in there that he was cheating. So im just going to let them be in there relationship that probably wont last long. So you also have a great day and also thank you very much for being there for me. And when i meet a new boy that i really like then i’ll let you know.

Coolness, it’s good to hear you’re on the up and up .  Sounds like you’re almost back on awesome st .  You’re right, his girlfriends probably feeling stupid, as well as confused, untrusting and her confidence may have taken a whack too.  I’d not like to be in her position, hopefully she has better taste in friends than in boys and yeah, it probably won’t last long.  I’m sure you’ll think more than twice about ever involving yourself with a taken guy again after this.  Having had this experience I hope in future relationships you can spot little things that don’t add up and ask questions right away so you don’t end up in her position.  That said though don’t be suspicious of all guys because of past experiences (sounds ridic but some girls get hurt often & lose the ability to trust completely), everyone you meet should get a clean slate and you wait and see if they keep it clean or muddy it up.  If you can’t ask open questions to your partner and get an answer from them, you have problems, being honest with each other and communicating are the absolute base things a good relationship needs.  He may have messed with your head but you’ve come out of it a stronger person with a clearer view of the world and that can only serve to aid you in the future.  It’s been my absolute pleasure to help you out, I’m even gonna miss that big sister feeling I get reading and replying to your posts.  Happy fishing Good luck and best wishes xxx

As much as it hurts I’d say you should keep away for abit. They have just found out some big news so the last thing you want to do is complicate things. Try talking to him and setting things staright though. Leave things on a good note. It’s for the best. Trust me.

xx