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Breaking up: how to let him down gently
So it’s become clear to you that it’s time to break up with your boyfriend - but you don’t actually want to hurt his feelings.
If that’s the case, I’m going to go ahead and assume that nothing particularly horrific has happened to cause the break up, but that for whatever reason you’ve simply realised that you’re ready to move on. Here are some tips on how to let him down gently.
*Do it face to face. Throwing him a break up text or email is pretty uncool - if you’re giving someone the boot it’s only fair to explain why, in person!
*Be honest about the negatives, but don’t forget the positives. I hate when people undo their entire history with someone by declaring, ‘I never loved you anyway!’ Bollocks. There had to have been good times in there, or you’d never have been together in the first place - at least give him that!
*If you’re breaking up, you’ve probably already talked about the issues you’re breaking up over. Rather than bringing all that up again, calmly explain that even though it makes you sad, for all the reasons you’ve talked about you think it’s a good idea for you to go your separate ways.
*Be straight up. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for a person is be honest. For example - making out like there’s a chance you guys could get back together, when you know that isn’t true, isn’t going to do either of you any good!
For more on how to be honest with someone, click here.
As much as you are wanting to let him down gently, it is still a break up - he’s going to be upset, you’re likely to be upset, and while you don’t want to make him feel bad, there’s no avoiding the fact that 99% of the time break ups are pretty sucky.
That said, when handled well a break up has the potential to be a pretty beautiful, if painful, thing. You guys shared some good times together, so acknowledge that and wish him well for the future. You can still value your relationship with someone and know that it’s over. It’s weird when that shift happens, but it happens!
Article by Sarah Illingworth. Who is Sarah? Find out here and meet the rest of the 24/7 Girl team too. And don’t forget to check out Sarah’s blog here!
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Im have been in a longterm relationship for over 4 years now, the problem is that we have been through more than what any teenage couple could ever go through and we have physical abuse involved where nothing gets resolved more or less forgive and forgotten the problem is i dont know how o cope with it or deal with the problem without feeling scared Posted by Harmony "on" 01/02 "at"07:54 PM |
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I’m so glad people are aware on how to be as nice as possible during a break up. I recently got a text from my now ex boyfriends best friend, who told me ‘I’m dumped’. He also then proceeded to call me awful names when I said I wanted to hear it from my boyfriends face. Of course I didn’t believe it was real, but my boyfriend then confirmed it by text again later that day. I couldn’t believe he did it through someone else and through a friend. Never do this, always find the guts to do it face to face as it makes things better in the long run! Posted by Dennoch "on" 10/20 "at"11:11 PM |
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theres nothing worse than gettin that txt you just dont want to see, so dont give it to them. good advice,now how and when to bring it up :/ Posted by piixie "on" 06/09 "at"03:01 PM |
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when i broke up with my bf of nearly 2 years it sucked,, we were standing in the rain and i couldnt get the words out,, i just didnt know what i was gonna say. so when i finally said it all he said was ‘is that it’ and smiled. man that was horrible, and coming from a small town and school i saw him all that day,, spent the day in tears and he kept seeing whenever i walked past =[=[=[=[=[ Posted by sunny15 "on" 05/29 "at"03:33 PM |
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I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now and we are always going on breaks or breaking up with each other. The first few times we’d do it face-to-face but I think we just accepted as time went by that no matter how many times we break up, we are always going to get back together, so we’ve done it over text the past 5-ish times! Sometimes I get it into my head that he’s not what I want (being younger than me I sometimes feel he is holding me back from meeting guys my own age and having other experiences) but then I realise how unlikely it is that I’m going to meet an 18 year old who is looking for a serious relationship and I feel grateful for what I have! The last time we broke up was before I turned 18 and I met a guy I liked who liked me back and I was convinced we were supposed to be together, turns out he was way too busy to hang out or even talk to me so it was all for nothing! I got back with my boyfriend about 2 weeks later and nothing has been the same since and I regret comparing him with someone else and ending the amazing relationship I have with one that could have been. Posted by Rianna "on" 05/28 "at"05:31 PM |
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Breaking up wth someone is the hardest thing to do EVER. And its not exactly something you want to practice… Posted by 13960 "on" 05/22 "at"09:05 PM |
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i have been dumped by my first bf twice and it sucked it made me upset. Posted by 46107 "on" 05/21 "at"09:07 AM |
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i know what it’s like to be dumped by text it’s horrible :( but atleast you don’t cry infront of them if you did it face to face . Posted by Taytayaniqua "on" 05/19 "at"02:39 AM |
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Goood advice indeed! And if your gonna break up with a guy make sure it is 100% what you want! Posted by Superpam "on" 05/17 "at"11:06 PM |
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This is very helpful. If more people did this there would be less hearts broken. Nothings worse than getting dumped through text.
Thanks 24/7 Girl Posted by Wonderful.♥ "on" 05/17 "at"11:04 PM |
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