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My over-protective mum is ruining my relationship
I’m seventeen and dating a guy who I love very much. He is in college and I am in my senior year of high school. My mother is very protective. She has met my boyfriend and loves him and he is at my house all the time. Recently she started going through my phone and checking my text messages though. She found me and my boyfriend talking “dirty” with each other. She yelled at me and talked it over with my boyfriend and everything was fine. She then went and read them again, reading texts that were sent during an argument we had, now she thinks that he is a danger to me and that I need to stop dating. She’s told me that I can’t see or talk to him again. I was crying my eyes out because he really means so much to me. I’m turning 18 in two months, is there anything I can do? I’m scared I’m going to lose my boyfriend!
First of all, remember that your parents are only trying to do the best thing for you. I know it’s easy to want to get angry at them but they love you despite their misguided attempts to keep you safe. Unfortunately you’re going to have to play by your Mum’s rules if you want to keep seeing your boyfriend. You need to calmly sit your Mum down and explain your side of the story, tell her the truth about your relationship and hopefully she’ll listen and understand where you’re coming from.
Talk about it
Parents are generally quick to respond to a situation they think might be hurting you, even when they don’t have all the info. By explaining the truth to your Mum and talking about it with her, you should be able to slowly bring her round to your point of view. The main thing to keep in mind is that aggression will not get you anywhere. If you accuse her of trying to break you and your boyfriend up, or get overly emotional, she’s only going to make it harder for you to see your boyfriend.
You’re nearly an adult
If that fails – you’re nearly 18. Legally you will be an adult and she can no longer tell you who you can or can’t date. Try not to flaunt this one around too much though, I’ve seen plenty of 18 year olds kicked out of home because their excuse for breaking all their parents rules is “I’m an adult now!” An adult you may be, but your still living under her roof, so tread carefully. Sarah xx
Got a question for Sarah? We’ve all got ultra-personal stuff going on in our lives – but chances are, plenty of others have been through the same thing! If you’ve got a question or a problem, just ask. We’ll do our best to hook you up with realistic advice! (Check out previous questions for more helpful tips).
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