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How to build emotional strength
Some people never recover from things that hurt them - mean friends, abusive parents, relationships that didn’t work out. We all experience emotional hurt at different times.
How do we stop it taking over and crippling us forever?
The secret is to get good and strong on the inside - so if people disappoint us our whole world doesn’t fall apart!
Our emotional core
I think of our emotional core as the part inside us that holds us together - it can also cause us to fall apart if it isn’t strong. Sometimes, things happen that hurt us right at the core though, and those things can be hard to come back from.
When we experience hard times, those experiences become part of our story. They help to shape us and can either motivate us to become something stronger and better for it, or weigh us down and make us feel low for a long time.
Feelings of hurt and anger can build up inside us, and before we know it those feelings are all we can think about. They stomp around in our heads like they own the place, and can jump out and bite at any moment if we let them.
Who do you think you are?
Emotionally hard times can be brutal to our core, because they affect how we see ourselves. Also, when we lose our confidence we often close our hearts a little bit - because we’re worried we might get hurt again. All we’re really doing though is letting the hurt have power over how we live our lives.
If a person bullies us, tells us we aren’t good enough, or totally rejects us, it can be hard not to let that one relationship affect all our other ones. Our insecurities can be pretty convincing - if we listen to them it’s likely we’ll start believing them. And letting our insecurities define us is NOT a good thing! 
A bad core wrecks the apple.
When we’ve been hurt at our emotional core, but haven’t let the wound heal, we can act like a crazy person when someone pushes the wrong button! They say the wrong thing and we lose it totally - they have no idea what’s hit!
Healing an emotional wound can be hard, but if you leave it to fester it’ll only get worse. It’s like if you get a splinter: remove it and the wound will heal pretty quick. Leave it, and it’ll probably get infected and take longer to mend.
Don’t wait for a doctor.
When someone hurts us at our core it can be easy to feel like - because it wasn’t directly our fault - it’s not our responsibility to heal the wound. We wait around, either for the person who hurt us to apologise, or for someone else to ‘fix’ us.
Unfortunately, holding onto hurt often only leads to more hurt. Sometimes people are just totally oblivious to the damage they’ve done.. or they don’t seem to care. And it’s never as satisfying to get back at someone as you think it will be!
It’s always a good idea to avoid holding onto things that hurt us, and keeping them buried at our emotional core, in case they get infected (like the splinter!), and lead to more hurt. Letting go of hurts helps us to leave bad times behind.
Tips for healing a hurt core:
Express your hurt somehow: if you like to write, let it all out in your journal; if you like to paint, do that. Throw eggs at a wall!
Talk to someone you trust. While relying on other people to ‘fix’ you isn’t a good idea, talking to someone you trust can help to process hurtful things and see them from a different perspective.
Have a cry! Sometimes letting everything that’s built up inside spill out can actually really help. Don’t be afraid to have a cry about it.
If a particular person has hurt you, hard as it is, try not to think about it too much. You can think about how mad you are until your head pops but it won’t help.
Let the person know they’ve hurt you if you can, but try not to be aggressive. If they don’t apologise - you might have to let it go. If they do apologise - let it go!
Letting wounds heal can take a while - so give yourself time to get over whatever it is that’s done the damage.
Lastly: keep going! Good things will happen to you that will make the bad things feel very far away. Have fun!
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My dad helps me build emotional strength he has played a big part in my life. love you dad! Posted by POWERBALLIN25 "on" 08/13 "at"08:57 AM |
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very hard. Posted by Xxc0rtxX "on" 08/12 "at"04:06 PM |
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yip tottalllly agree! Posted by Xxc0rtxX "on" 08/12 "at"04:06 PM |
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Thanks! its quiet good thinking about it as your core, When your hurt. Posted by Xxc0rtxX "on" 08/08 "at"09:02 PM |
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thanks you, this should already help, although i already started letting go, i had a problem with some old friends recently saying all this stuff that wasn’t true and it got me feeling extremely down. because i didn’t have anyone to really talk to when it first happened because my best friend was on holiday, but then she came back and i talk to her about it, and it helped me feel a lot better. Posted by 55203 "on" 01/14 "at"07:15 PM |
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Wow, thank you! I needed this! I was bullied for two years and it’s only just starting to stop now, because I changed schools and lost as much contact as I could. My core is broken but these tips will really help me. Thank you thank you thank you!!!! Posted by Kirstie89 "on" 01/11 "at"03:42 PM |
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Woooow. Posted by Jaay. "on" 01/03 "at"08:02 PM |
Best of the rest
