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Is it worth holding onto our hurt?
It’s easy to hold onto things people have done to hurt us for ages; we re-live situations that hurt or upset us over and over again to try and make sense of what happened, but all that really does is cement the hurt inside us. Allowing hurts to stick around often stops us moving on. The person we really punish when we can’t forgive, is ourselves.
It’s never easy
No matter how much you want to do it, forgiving someone when they’ve hurt you is never easy. Sometimes the impact, and consequences, of a person’s actions can last a long time. When someone turns your life upside down like that it can be hard not to want to make them pay.
Whether big or small, holding onto hurts only leads to more pain. Before we know it, our anger, embarrassment or sadness are all we can think about! If we don’t learn to let go, the things that hurt us can even define who we are as people.
Letting go
An important thing to remember when you’re struggling to let go of something that has hurt you is that bitterness does more harm to the bitter person than it does to the person they’re bitter about. Somehow, it can feel like - by staying angry at someone - we’re getting back at them for whatever they’ve done to hurt us. Often though, the opposite is true. Often, that anger eats away inside us, and turns us into negative people.
We all like second chances! If you’re finding it hard to let someone off the hook, try to remember a time someone let you off the hook when you didn’t deserve it - or a time someone misunderstood something you said or did.
It’s good to let go. Try to remember that, as long as you stay angry at a person, they still have power over you. Essentially, they’re still a negative influence in your life - even if you never see them anymore. It might be a little idealistic, but I think it’s important to always give people the benefit of the doubt. Sure, some people ARE mean, but most aren’t intentionally horrible. Sometimes people are just oblivious to the fact
they’ve hurt us.
There’s definitely a time and a place for confronting people who hurt us, and being honest about how we feel, but don’t waste emotional energy on hating them - it’s not worth it! Life’s too short to lose days, or years, being bitter.
The heavy stuff
If you’ve been physically or emotionally abused, and you’re finding it hard to deal with your feelings toward the person/people who hurt you, talking to a counsellor can help you to process whatever happened, and help you to become emotionally healthy again.
No one’s expecting you to shrug off how you feel, but working towards letting all those negative emotions go is the only way you can really move forward. It may take you a long time to be able to let the pain go, but it’s definitely worth the battle!
Youthline is a free and confidential counselling service for young people. If you need to talk, and someone to listen, call 0800 37 66 33 or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
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` ths is so true ! ihave a issue of letting go esspecially of m` past & wht happnd . ijus ddn knw how to buh isortov understnd now why its good to let go . plus life is to short to be hating & holdn on to thngs tht hurt you inside . xx Posted by lixueFiERCE "on" 05/22 "at"01:06 AM |
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Hi All. My name is Katie, Unfortunately Ive been in many abusive situations since a young age, and my biggest fear is turning bitter and twisted, the article is so right, we only end up hurting ourselves in the long run holding on to it all, Thank GOD for councellors!!!! Posted by Katieblu2427 "on" 04/14 "at"12:34 PM |
Best of the rest
