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How To Deal With Overprotective Parents
Q. I’m 17 and dating a guy who I love very much. He is at uni and I’m in my last year of high school. My parents are very overprotective, but they’ve met my boyfriend and love him and he is at my house all the time. Recently my mum started going through my phone and checking my text messages though. She found me and my boyfriend talking ‘dirty’ with each other. She yelled at me but talked it over with my boyfriend and everything was fine for a while. She then went and read them again, this time texts that were sent during an argument we had, and now her and dad think he’s a danger to me and that I need to stop going out with him. They’ve told me I can’t see or talk to him again. I was crying my eyes out because he really means so much to me. I’m turning 18 in two months, is there anything I can do? I’m scared I’m going to lose my boyfriend!
A. Parents are generally quick to respond to a situation they think might be hurting you, even when they don’t have all the info. Their priority is to look after their kid, and who can blame them?! It’s hard not to get angry at them - especially when they read your texts! - but they really are trying to do the best thing for you, even if their attempts to keep you safe are a little misguided at times. Try sitting down with your mum and calmly explaining your side of the story - hard as it can be to be rational in a situation like this, if you act like an adult your parents will be more likely to treat you like one! Also, giving her the opportunity to explain why she doesn’t want you texting your boyfriend stuff like that will make her feel like you’re actually listening to her; if you both feel heard you’ll be more likely to find a solution that makes both sides happy. If you’re too aggressive or defensive, she’ll be more likely to hardline it and you don’t want to end up in a situation where you’re choosing between your family and your BF!
That said, legally you will be an adult soon and, technically, your parents won’t be able to tell you who you can or can’t date. Try not to flaunt this one around too much though - I’ve seen plenty of 18 year olds kicked out of home because their excuse for breaking their parents’ rules is “I’m an adult now!”
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te best advice id have for you is to get a password on your phone or to sneak around to see him Posted by snookz12 "on" 01/02 "at"04:17 PM |
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Parents like that can be tough, but its about compromise. Tell your Mum how you feel about her going through your texts and tell her the situation. Don’t get mad at her as it wont solve anything but reassure her you will go to her if you need help or if there is something you want to tell her. She is only trying to look out for you but sometimes she wont look at the situation from your point of view. Posted by 45435 "on" 11/02 "at"05:44 PM |
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Yeah, explain that you know what you’re doing and you do appreciate their opinions and take it on board.
+ your parents read your texts? O.O Doesn’t this make you uncomfortable? you ask for a little more privacy and respect. and promise to come to them if there is any serious problem. Posted by Dee-Great "on" 10/11 "at"07:08 PM |
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they want the best for you but they should back off a bit its your choice. Posted by Van "on" 09/22 "at"08:58 PM |
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Even though it sounds like your mum just wants the best for you, maybe sit down and talk to her about space, your nearly an adult you can make decisions for yourself. Posted by POWERBALLIN25 "on" 08/15 "at"03:01 AM |
Best of the rest
