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3 steps for dealing with change
It can be scary when things happen we can’t control, but worrying about things that are out of our hands is like knocking on someone’s door when no one’s home: it isn’t going to change the fact they aren’t home. Sometimes life is totally unpredictable, and being able to adapt when change happens can help us avoid wasting a lot of energy on worry.
Sarah’s 3 steps to dealing with change!
Step 1 - What am I worried about?
Step 2 - Is there anything I can do?
Step 3 - Is worrying going to change the situation?
How can I be ‘positively me’ when I’m freaking out?
Change can be a really scary thing, especially when it’s unexpected - but life is full of twists and turns that are hard to predict. It can be especially stink when decisions are made that affect you, but you aren’t involved in making the decision.
Maybe your parents have split and you’ve had to move house and change school; maybe your BF broke up with you, and you thought you’d be together forever! Maybe you didn’t get into the course you were planning to do, or the sports team you were hoping to join, and you don’t know where to go from here.
Tip: When life throws you a stinker, let yourself get upset - but don’t let the emotion drag you down. Feel it, then try to look at the issue practically.
It’s really easy to freak out when life changing situations like these happen. While we might feel confused and vulnerable, it doesn’t mean we have to give into our worry!
Dealing with uncontrollable change.
Whether it’s a little thing, like a friend changing their (and your) plans at the last minute, or a big thing, like your bestie moving to another country, uncontrollable change can be really upsetting and really unsettling. Being able to adapt easily when change happens is a really great skill, and it also shows you care about other people. Not having to have things go exactly how you’d like is a generous way to live - and you’ll be surprised what a relief it is to let go of the reins every now and then!
Adapting to change when it happens can save us a lot of anxiety; if you struggle to handle when things happen you can’t control, ask yourself these questions:
Step 1 - What am I worried about?
Step 2 - Is there anything I can do?
Step 3 - Is worrying going to change the situation?
If it isn’t - try to think of a way you can deal with the situation that DOESN’T involve worrying about it. For example: Say your parents have split up and your dad wants to marry his new girlfriend, who you can’t stand! Tell him how you feel, but don’t freak out if he does it anyway. Instead, try to accept the situation and manage how you’re feeling in a constructive way.
For the record: I’m not saying we should hide our feelings, just that we shouldn’t let emotion and worry take over when change happens!
That other people will do things that affect our plans is an inevitable part of our lives, and worrying about things we can’t control can affect our emotional and physical health. In the words of a friend: “Take it easy honey!”
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