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How not to be a hedgehog!
This whole push to think positively is more than a cheesy ‘cheer up’ thing! It can be hard to battle negative emotions when we’re feeling overwhelmed, but it’s when things are at their worst that having a clear head helps! How can we stop our negative emotions getting the better of us?
Don’t be a hedgehog!
When a hedgehog is frightened, it curls up in a ball so all its spikes stick out. Only, all curled up like that, it can’t see when something comes along that isn’t afraid of its spikes - like a car! When we freak out or feel overwhelmed, we often instinctively ‘curl into a ball’ ourselves. We protect ourselves by putting up walls, hiding away, ignoring people who care about us and trying to deal with the situation on our own.
Sometimes, staying open to other people even though we feel vulnerable can be the best way of dealing with an overwhelming situation. Letting other people help not only takes the pressure off, it brings you closer together. 
Be a dolphin – not a shark!
Have you ever been in a situation when you’re totally freaking out - you’re angry, upset, or afraid - and you’ve reacted in a way that only led to more trouble, or confused the situation even more?
It’s like when a person’s drowning; the instinct is to splash around and gasp for air, but keeping calm and staying afloat is the best way to cope when you’re in the deep end.
Acting out of anger and fear can make us ‘thrash around’ in an effort to protect ourselves, or to make it appear that we are in control when we feel the opposite. Instead of giving us power in a situation though, acting on our negative emotions can often have the opposite effect.
Thought: Negative emotions like fear, anger and sadness aren’t wrong, but if we don’t know how to control them, they can end up controlling us!
Keeping a clear head when you feel overwhelmed can help you to see a way out of a hard or scary situation. Easier said than done though, right?! Here are some tips for how to keep your cool when you feel like you’re in over your head:
Take a break! Exercise, listen to your favourite song, get on YouTube, meet a friend or look at a magazine. Take time out - and let your head calm down.
Take a deep breath. If you don’t have time to take a proper break, breathing deeply for even a couple of minutes will help you to clear your head and chill out.
Don’t be afraid. Our emotions can sometimes get so intense it’s freaky, but they’re only trying to tell us something. Listen, then tell them kindly to zip it.
Remind yourself that even if how you feel is justified (e.g. you’ve got six exams tomorrow and you’re stressed!), keeping calm will be more helpful than losing it.
Ask yourself how someone you admire would react. How would you react if they were around?
The idea is to let the height of our emotion settle so you can look at an overwhelming situation with a clear head. Letting negative emotions get the better of us can often make a bad situation worse.
Keep your head up!
Instead of letting negative emotions drag you down, do all you can to keep your head above water! Even though you might feel like all you want to do is hide away and ignore everyone, stick it out. Take time out, then get back in the game.
Some people find it harder not to give in to fear and anger and sadness than others - if you’re one of those people, that’s ok. It might be a battle each day to not give into your negative thoughts and feelings, but you don’t have to be discouraged. The pay-off - winning! - is worth it.
If you’re often overwhelmed by negative thoughts or emotions, don’t be afraid to admit it. Talk to your friends and family about how you feel, and how they can help. You’ll be amazed what difference it makes!
Youthline is a free and confidential counselling service for young people. If you need to talk, and someone to listen, call 0800 37 66 33 or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
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